The struggles you can't see

Every year, in July, we celebrate The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) being signed into law. For many July 26, 1990 was a catalyst for slow change. Change that is still being forged today, 34 years later.  
​
Today there is a much higher level of respect for disabled individuals. That is, if you can see their disability. If you see someone walking around assisted by a cane with a red tip, you can assume some level of vision challenges. If you see someone in a wheelchair, you can assume they have mobility challenges.  

What about the child with sensory processing disorder that is throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle of the grocery store because the bright lights, busy isles, and loudspeaker ads have overwhelmed him so much that when Dad asked what cereal he wanted his brain went into Fight, Flight, or Freeze mode? 

What about the teenager with autism spectrum disorder who is trying to communicate that they are overwhelmed, but all they can do is angrily yell at those around them? Or the pre-teen girl, who is shy in social situations, and ultimately starts to get left out of group functions because she dosen't express her thoughts and feelings in the same way her peers do?  

Lastly, what about the mother who is trying to raise their children (who might even have a disability as well) while also managing a chronic pain disorder? That mother is trying to balance her own needs and dwindling energy stores to make sure she is there for every soccer game, dance recital, and IEP meeting, all while being in constant pain, but still wearing a smile. 

I read an online blog that said “1 in 5 people currently have a disability. 100% of people will have some form of disability in their lifetime.” Those numbers are certainly concerning but what I find more concerning is the lack of support for visible vs INvisible disabilities. Can you guess which one receives more support? Which one is championed for more by those without disabilities?  

Our physical world has changed a lot in the last 34 years. Our perception of disabilities and our definition of those disabilities have also changed. They aren’t quite in an even race yet, but I feel like they grow closer every year.  

The Americans with Disabilities act was a catalyst to change the world so everyone could have an equal chance at accessing it. An equal workforce, an equal education, an equal right to experience the same world as their peers. Now, we celebrate every July by recognizing how far we have come and how far we still have yet to go. 

So, how can you help? Whether or not you have a disability you can always be an advocate for change. Show your support, be vocal with your support, and be aware of the biases of you and those around you. Be a champion for change; and believe in the underdog. 

My name is Mandy, and I am that mother, my son is that teenage boy and my niece is that pre-teen girl. In 2021 I created a support group for parents like me, called See the ABLE not the LABEL and it is a peer-led support group for parents trying to navigate the landscape of their child’s disabilities. We meet virtually on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays from 6:30-8 and will always welcome a new parent for support, camaraderie, commiseration, and encouragement. If you would like to join us, go to Rivercenternh.org and register. While you’re there check out the FACTBook to see if there are any resources that will help improve your life. If you find yourself treading water trying not to sink give me a call at The River Center and together we can make a plan to help get you back to dry land.  

Author

Mandy is the Community Resource Specialist and Kinship Navigator at the River Center. She leads a support group for parents of children with special needs, See the ABLE not the LABEL every 1st and 3rd Wednesday at 6:30 pm via Zoom. She lives in Peterborough with her husband and their two children.