Transitions

“Are you ready to put away the kayaks?” Dave has been asking. I have been silent. No, not really. I don’t want to put away the kayaks. That will mean kayak season is over for the year. On the other hand, it is chilly out there. Do I really want to go kayaking now?? No, not really. 

​William Bridges wrote a book, Transitions, in the 1980’s. He tells us that every transition begins at the end. ​

Out with the old, in with the new

When I first heard this, I was confused. What is he talking about? But then it was explained. We need to transition out of something so we can transition into the new stage. Out with the old, in with the new.  
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Seasonal changes

We transition from warm weather to cold. We put away the warm weather toys, we bring in the house plants, we get out the sweaters. And some of us put away the kayaks and get the wood stove ready. We (I) start looking for recipes that involve cinnamon, ginger and cloves; molasses; pumpkin. I make soup and chili- warm weather comfort foods. I get out the blaze orange hats for walks in the woods.  

The seasonal transitions we do every year. We know what to expect, when it’s time to do the seasonal dismantling and preparations. Some transitions we come to expect and know how to handle them without disruption.  ​

The surprises of parenting

But…. some transitions in life we feel less prepared for. How many of us were confident new parents???? Yikes. You think you are somewhat prepared. You have a crib, diapers, and tiny clothes. You might have read a book or two or followed a billion or so blogs, podcasts or YouTube channels. Goodness knows, you have received a lot of solicited and unsolicited advice from well-meaning folks. But when that tiny human is placed in your arms you are now officially parenting. You soon find out how well you function at 2:00am with little or no sleep, just how loud and long a baby can cry. Some transitions go smoother with support.  

If this is your current reality, let me urge you to join our Baby Time group that meets at the New Ipswich Library every Wednesday at 1:00 and is open to anyone with a baby. It is always helpful to get to know others who are also sleep deprived, have similar questions, and don’t mind that the baby is crying while you are talking. Kelli, the facilitator of this group is a wealth of wisdom,  encouragement and support. If you are interested, give us a call at 924-6800 or [email protected]. 

The transitions in parenting don’t end with the infant stage. Equally puzzling is the toddler, the preschooler, the school aged, the preteen, the teen, the young adult. Each stage has its joys and challenges. Each child navigates these stages differently, lest you relax and get too confident! We have a ways to support you though these transitions as well. One on one support for parents and caregivers; family activities; evening groups; daytime activities. Check them out at rivercenternh.org.    

Embracing change with a little help from your friends

Here's my closing thought on our children’s developmental transitions:  don’t wish away the moments. Don’t pine for toddlerhood while you have an infant. Don’t wish them out of the house when you have a teen. Each developmental stage of a child’s growth has joys and challenges. Treasure the joys. Get through the challenges with a little help from others. Give The River Center a call and get connected to others in a supportive and encouraging place.

Author

Margaret Nelson has been the Executive Director at The River Center for over 15 years. She will be retiring from this position at the end of the first quarter of 2025.